No More Plus Size … eventually

I had an 11am appointment today at the gym with one of the certified personal trainers. He showed me how to properly use all the weight machines (I’ve really got to get past the mindset that lifting weights makes you all bulky like body builders and he addressed that concern for me but I’ve still got it stuck in my head that I’m going to bulk up like Heman or something) and set me up with a workout goal for the next week or two of how much weight I should be lifting on each machine as well as how many reps he wants me doing on each machine.

I kind of had mixed emotions about him. Don’t get me wrong he was very knowledgeable when it came to the machines, how to do them properly, what each machine worked, etc but I just didn’t feel like I had a connection with him. I guess that’s how I can best describe it. He was super friendly and nice but I just didn’t “feel” it.

But then at the end of our session when I was talking to him about my shins hurting so bad he went and got another trainer Kelli and oh my gosh let me just say she ROCKS. She’s freaking AMAZING. There’s not other way to put it. The woman knows her stuff and I instantly connected with her. She spent probably a good 30 minutes with me addressing my shin and calve issues, showed me stretches to do to help the shin splints and then when I got done doing my 5k on the treadmill she went and did some more stretches with me. The other thing I really loved about her was that she’s an avid runner herself and said she would love to help me reach my goal of running a 5k one of these days!

The one thing I didn’t like, even though in my head I totally know she’s right, was that she was a little concerned with how bad my shins were hurting and me doing the 5k on the treadmill all the time. She said she totally gets me wanting to do it every time I use the treadmill but right now I need to slow down and heal the shin splints first before continuing on with the long distances like that or else I’m going to end doing more damage and not being able to do anything.

So I’m pretty sure that in the future I will be using her as a personal trainer! But for now she told me the days she works and to just catch her when she’s there!

There’s just something about the idea of doing a shorter time and shorter distance on the treadmill that freaks me out. I guess it makes me feel like I’m taking a step backwords or something but everything she explained to me made total sense. I am in a lot of pain right now – I’m propped up in the chair with my laptop so I can ice my shins because they hurt so bad – and I do not want to do more damage and end up not being able to do anything at all. So I’m going to do what she recommended I do and work on lifting weights for the next couple weeks.

So all in all I’m totally pleased with the outcome of today. I’m definitely even more happy now with my decision to join the gym and know how valuable of an investment the monthly fee really is going to be!

Yeah for certified personal trainers! Woo hoo

Ugh what a bummer this week. Today is not my normal weigh in day. I generally weigh in on Wednesdays but I was so disappointed with the scale on Wednesday morning that I didn’t bother taking a picture or posting (it showed a 1.2 lb gain which made NO sense whatsoever because I’m following the WW program to a T – well except for 4 out of 7 days last week I was way under my daily points target). Then I decided that I had to do a weigh in post for this week regardless of what that stupid scale says because it’s all a part of keeping me on track and charting my progress. Interesting thing is today I don’t show the gain I had showed on Wednesday!

This week’s weigh in:

Updated Stats:

Last Week’s Weigh In: 268.8
This Week’s Weigh In: 268.4
Total Loss This Week: .4 lbs
Beginning Weight (1/4/2010): 313.2
Total Loss To Date: 45.2 lbs

How was your weigh in this week? Good? Bad?

…joined the gym.

I know I probably should have waited until my 7 days free trial was up before making the decision but it’s just too good of a deal to pass up.

The trainer I talked to on the phone yesterday was awesome – very knowledgeable, helpful, full of energy, positive and I just really hit it off with her. I have a free consultation with her on Friday at 11am with her and I’m really hoping that her fees are reasonable – the lady at the gym today told me what she thought the trainer fees were and if that’s correct they are totally doable!.

And the facility is top notch – of course it’s only like 4 months old. Excellent equipment, nice and clean, lots of resources (classes, etc) available too.

I took the treadmill for a spin today. It was awesome! I did the 5k (3.1 miles) workout on there and pushed myself harder than I do when I walk at home. I tried to maintain a pace of 3.2 miles per hour (had to go slower a few times so I could catch my breath). A couple times I did 3.6 and 3.7 miles per hour. But most impressive was the couple times (30 seconds each) I ran at 4.0 miles per hour. By the time it was all said and done (warm up and cool down included) I clocked 3.27 miles in 60 some minutes (I forgot the exact time & I wish I could  remember because I’m going to start writing this info down so I can keep track of how I’m doing).

I wasn’t too sure about adding the expense every month of a gym membership but then I got to thinking about it and this isn’t an expense…it’s an investment. An investment in continuing to take back control of my life and get rid of this weight and unhealthiness once and for all

I didn’t start off watching Biggest Loser tonight. I was letting the DVR record it so I could watch it later minus the commercials! But then on Facebook my friend (and recent 5k partner) Mary commented on my wall to ask me if I was watching it because they were doing a 5k.

Well if you read my recent post, 5k completed, you know that I wasn’t exactly having positive emotions/feelings about it. And I kind of got an attitude when I thought of watching the contestants of Biggest Loser do a 5k. I mean they’ve been on the ranch for quite awhile now and have been worked out like crazy by Bob and Jillian so a 5k for them wouldn’t be much of a big deal.

But of course curiosity got the best of me and I had to go watch. Wow talk about a mixture of emotions running through me again. But suddenly my feelings have changed now about the 5k I just completed on Saturday! I’m not feeling so negative about it or the fact that I came in last place anymore.

As I watched tears streamed down my face and then when the lady came in last place with her daughter by her side and Sam and Koli went back to get her I cried a little harder. You see it reminded me of how Mary stayed by side the entire time on Saturday. There were a few times she got ahead of me but she made sure to slow back down to my pace so she didn’t leave me. And she pushed me when I hit the 3k and didn’t think I could go any farther. And she pushed me harder when I hit the 4k and thought for sure I’d never make it another step. And she pushed me the hardest when we were oh so close to the finish line and I wanted to give up!

But what really had a huge effect one me? That lady with her daughter, Sam & Koli coming in last and being sooooo excited over just finishing that 5k! Suddenly it all made sense to me – that’s exactly how I should have felt on Saturday!

And now the tears I sit and cry are tears of joy because I achieved such a huge freaking goal! Six months ago, heck even three months ago I couldn’t have done a 3.1 mile walk for nothing! In fact just back in November I couldn’t even walk up the road like 100 steps – I actually fell on the side of the road because my legs gave out on me back in November!

But now….now look at me!

I FINISHED A 5K RACE! ME! I DID IT!

And I’m damn proud of that!

Finally – the emotions I hoped I would feel have found me! Just a few days late. lol

Dieting is not a piece of cake.  ~Author Unknown

I’m a little surprised at how I’m feeling about achieving such a huge goal. Never in a million years did I ever think I would do something like a 5k. Heck before losing the 44.8 pounds I’ve lost so far just basic normal everyday walking killed me!

I’ve got so many negative thoughts running through my head. First I’m disappointed that I came in exactly where I did NOT want to be - LAST! But instead of focusing on that I should focus on the fact that it takes me 1 hour to walk my 2 mile route here at home and I finished the 5k in 56 minutes (and some odd seconds) which is a huge accomplishment considering the 5k is like 1.1 MORE miles than my 2 mile route! But I can’t. I’m too hung up on the fact that I’m embarrassed by last place.

And then as I was looking back through pictures and the video taken today instead of being proud of losing 44.8 lbs all I could focus on was how FAT I still am. It was disgusting to see the pics and watch the video because of all my rolls and it just really depressed me and reminded me I still have sooooo far to go (I still have 118.4 lbs to lose yet!).

I’m having a total emo moment right now. I thought I had let all the tears out a few minutes ago when I cried in the shower but obviously not. I just don’t get why I can’t be proud of the fact that I did this. I completed a 5k in 56 minutes and didn’t stop once! I don’t want to be so down on myself and sitting here crying over this but I am.

And I’m still hung up on the fact that yesterday I was called an Attention Whore. It bothers me. So now every time I post something on Twitter, Facebook or write a post here I wonder if that’s how everyone sees me - as an attention whore.

Anyways…enough of my emotional babbling.

Here’s a video from today:

And here’s a couple pics:

Before the Race

Running to finish line:

After the race:

I’m up earlier than I wanted to be but I think that’s due to my nerves. I’m feeling better than I have most of the week but I’m definitely still not 100% but as I’ve already said in a previous post – I’m not letting this silly upper respiratory crud stop me from this 5k. Most of you are probably still sleeping as it’s pretty early – 6:15am. Can’t believe I’m wide awake considering I am NOT a morning person at all. So that means that by the time you do read this I’ll probably have already arrived at the race location or even started the race! EEEEK! I’m definitely nervous. Not sure why I mean it’s not like I’m actually running this race! There’s nothing to be nervous about when it comes to walking a 5k – that’s a breeze.

I think my nerves are just coming from the unknown. I’m still fighting off negative self-talk and being worried about what others will think of a fat chic doing a 5k race! I’m trying to just remind myself that it doesn’t matter what others think – I’m doing this for ME and not others. This is just one more accomplishment that I’m going to achieve and achieve it with a big ole grin on my face just because of the fact I’m being proactive in my life and doing something to get healthy.

Ok so enough rambling for now. When you read this I hope you’ll be cheering me on ‘virtually’ 

It’s 10:00 pm right now (at least at the time of typing that lol) which means that’s exactly 12 hours away from the Snowbird Spring Scamper 5k Run/Walk tomorrow! Wow it came up really fast! A lot faster than I anticipated. I’m not entirely sure that I’m ready. Well I suppose I am I mean it’s not like there’s much to be ready for when you’re walking a 5k! I’m definitely a little bit nervous just because I don’t know what to expect and I still have a bunch of nasty negative thoughts running through my head.

And I’m really hung up on the fact that I do NOT want to come in last place! I know that’s sad but I can’t help it I’m a pretty competitive person – always have been probably always will be. And the reason I’m hung up on that is because I know that because I’m not running (there’s no way in heck I’m even close to being ready to run especially a 5k!) it tomorrow that I’ll definitely be at the rear of the pack! I’m trying to just remind myself that this isn’t about winning a medal or anything but about winning just simply by crossing that finish line!

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Wowsers it’s coming up fast! I thought I was pretty much prepared for it until I ended up sick this week. I mean seriously of all the time to get sick NOW is not a good time! I’m starting to feel somewhat human again but I’m far from feeling 100%. Yesterday I was running a low grade fever (100.1 – 100.6) pretty much most of the day. Today, knock on wood, I haven’t had a fever so that’s a good sign but I’ve still got some pretty serious chest/head congestion going on.

I decided that I had to push myself today and get out there and do some sort of exercise considering it’s been 2 days since I’ve done anything! I already planned on taking Friday off and not doing anything just because I wanted to rest before the 5k on Saturday. I’ve also decided that I’m still doing the 5k. Yesterday I really questioned whether I’d be feeling up to it or not but I’ve come this far I refuse to back out now. This sickness is just a little (ok so it’s a little more than little) mountain that I have to climb.

(more…)

Wow it’s hard to believe I’ve hit the 15 week mark! It seems like only yesterday I was stepping foot on the scale for the first time and starting this journey. I’ve had a few ‘down’ moments during the journey but I’ve been able to get right back on track and keep on keepin on.

The support and encouragement you’ve all given me has carried me through my down times, lifted me back up when I wanted to give in and just quit. But you’ve all been there with me to cheer me on and share in my triumphs too! When I started this weight loss journey/healthy lifestyle I never imagined in a million years that I would find so much support out there. And it’s not even just the support – I’ve made some amazing friendships too! I appreciate you all so much!

Ok so back to this week’s weigh in:

Updated Stats:

Last Week’s Weigh In: 271.2
This Week’s Weigh In: 268.8
Total Loss This Week: 2.4 lbs
Beginning Weight (1/4/2010): 313.2
Total Loss To Date: 44.8 lbs

How was your weigh in this week? Good? Bad?