I Have Given Up
22 Jun
It’s so easy to ignore this blog when I’m not completely 100% on board the healthy lifestyle/exercise train…and I haven’t been since Memorial Day Weekend which has been almost 1 full month now.
I feel crappy. I’m tired. I think about food 24/7 again. I eat one meal only to think about when and what the next one will be. I eat crap – fried foods, chips, junk, etc – again all the time. I crave sugar. I’m moody (that has to do with more than just my diet…I have some health issues right now causing my hormones to be all out of whack) and once again I’m finding the only thing that makes me happy is when I’m eating. I pig out in secret – when no one’s around to question or call me out on it.
I’ve totally fallen back into all my old habits. I’ve asked friends to help hold me accountable but how can people help me if I’m not willing to help myself?
Today marks the 7th day of NO exercise. No walking, no going to the gym, no nothing. And unfortunately I’m not going to be able to pay the $40.00 gym fee on the 25th so I won’t have access to the gym anymore. I’d like to say that bothers me a lot and makes me really sad but seems how I’m being totally open and honest here – it doesn’t. I couldn’t care less. That saddens me! What happened to the girl that was doing so awesome with eating healthy and exercising and LOVED working out?
I keep thinking about something Jillian Michael’s said in her show Losing It during the first episode
“why choose failure when success is an option?”
I wish I knew the answer to that and why I’m choosing failure instead of success. I’ve given up and that scares me. It’s so much easier for me to choose failure than to push through all the crap like deal with all the emotional garbage that comes to my eating and why I eat the way I do.
Is failure so ingrained into my brain that I’m always going to just give up when the going gets rough and choose failure? Do I not believe in myself – well obviously I don’t or I wouldn’t be back to the place that I am.
I can sit here and type all this thinking that I’m going to get up and make a change but I don’t want to. I’m at that ‘I don’t care’ stage again…exactly where I was before. I honestly don’t know what’s going to cause me to change my thinking and make me care again!
I have totally given up and it’s not a good feeling!
Tish: I don’t even know you, and haven’t ever left a comment here before. But I have been following you on twitter and reading your blog off and on for a while. Please, Please, Please don’t give up. Think about the progress you’ve made, the pounds you’ve lost, the sweat you’ve poured, the sizes and inches you’ve lost. You’ve made a lot of progress and throwing it away would be something you’d regret for the rest of your life.
Setbacks are a part of the process of getting healthy. One of the keys is to keep those setbacks as short lived as possible. At some point, these feelings plague everybody who endeavors to lose a bunch of weight. This may be one of those times in your journey that make you stronger.
Please send me an email if you’d like to chat. I would love to help you if I can. Mac
.-= mac´s last blog ..My Inspiration =-.
Hey Mac. Thanks for taking the time to comment! I haven’t given up I’m happy to say, just going through a pretty big bump in the road but I’m still plugging away one day at a time and I’m still working out which I think is really important! Again thank you for commenting and giving me some encouragement. I really really appreciate it!
sorry you’re struggling. I wish I knew the answer myself. over 4 years ago I lost 60 pounds but still had a long way to go but after 6 months of maintaining I began to slide slowly back into the same habits and ended up right back where I was, then I continued and ended up adding probably close to another 60 to that.
.-= Lisa´s last blog ..Top Ten Reasons… =-.
Thank you Lisa for commenting. The one thing I don’t want to do is what you said (ending up back where you were and adding more to it). I’ve been there and done that so many times in the past…and that’s super discouraging. Good luck on your journey and I hope you’re doing awesome
I’ve just come accross your blog, and you don’t know me. And I’ve haven’t even gone back to read your back-story. But I feel compelled to leave a comment – because your post is so beautiful in its raw honesty.
You have not given up. If you had given up, I don’t think you would have written the post. It sounds like you are just struggling and looking for a place to hop on again. Find that place today, and swing your leg back up on the wagon. Swing it up, girl. Today. It’s only been seven days. All is not lost.
Make different choices today than you did yesterday. Move your body. Feel the cravings, but breathe through them. Eat an apple. Go outside. Brush your teeth.
I think days – and periods – of struggle will always be there as we build and live healthy lifestyles. But they don’t define us. They just are what they are. Have them. But then punch them in the face and move on.
Return to the new you. She’s right there waiting for you to come back. Don’t leave me, she’s saying.
OK. I’ll shut up now. Do not give up. Please. You’re going to get this all sorted out. Take Care.
.-= Susan´s last blog ..three hours =-.
Hi Susan. Nice to “meet” you. Thank you for taking the time to comment and send me encouragement and words of wisdom, I really appreciate it. You’re right – I really haven’t given up, this was more a cry out for help type post than anything. I’m still plugging away and just taking things one day at a time!
Please fight for me!
Aren’t I worth it to you?
I mean, who else could possibly mean more?
I know I’m weak. I know I fall back into old patterns. But lately, I’ve made some great progress.
I’m trying… I really am. It may not look like it right now… but please… don’t give up on me now.
Everyone else believes in me, why can’t you?
Thank you Tishia (a.k.a Kelly! lol). I am going to print this out so I can look at this every day!
I’ve been there hun. I am so sorry you are feeling this way. I want you to keep going. There are days I do no moving at all besides walking around the house and lifting my son. But, we can get out of that slump. Heck, even cleaning the house gets me in a sweat. I don’t know what to tell you since nothing really seemed to help me in those times, but I am here for you! I know you can do it.
.-= Jeannette´s last blog ..Motivation Monday =-.
Hi Jeannette. Thank you so much for your comment. I appreciate it. You’re right – we can get out of the slumps and slowly but surely I’m working my way out of this one!
Tishia, you are not alone. It’s a big struggle to change our lifestyles after living like this for so long. Sure we can all be here for you but it’s your choice. Remember how good you feel when you feed your body the good stuff AND how you feel after working out. I feel I will always struggle with food but it does get easier even with the struggles. I’m not sure what else to tell you other than I think that $40 for the gym is something you need to figure out and make happen. Sure a lot of people will say you don’t need the gym and I do believe that for some people BUT I know it’s been totally life changing for you and me too. I would see what else in your life you could give up to make up for the gym fee.
You know I’m here for you so let me know how I can help. One step at a time…do one good thing for yourself today, out for a quick walk or a healthy meal…just do it!
.-= Angie (Losing It and Loving It)´s last blog ..Movin and groovin =-.
Thanks Angie. I’m happy to say that I was super blessed and my gym membership was paid for for the month
I can’t wait to see you in August so we can do some serious workouts in the morning 
I’ve been there! I’ve lost 15 lbs and 39 inches in three months….I’ve still got 15 lbs to go. What can I do to help you? This is just a rough patch. You should check out the book Three Feet From Gold and Think and Grow Rich. I’m in the middle of Three Feet From Gold now, and it is really helping me out.
You can get back on track right now. There are lots of people out there that believe in you and care about you. You can do it!!!! Keep posting, keep believing!
.-= Amy´s last blog ..WOW =-.
Congrats on your weight loss & inches lost – that’s awesome for 3 months! I’ve heard of the Think & Grow Rich book before just never read it but I’ve never heard of the Three Feet From Gold book before (that sounds awesome!). Slowly but surely I’m getting things back on track!
Oh Tish, I’m sorry to hear you’re struggling, but I refuse to believe that you’re giving up. If you were truly giving up, you wouldn’t have posted. You have such an amazing spirit and I love reading your posts, chatting w/ you on Twitter, and swapping crazy guy stories.
You have the power to give yourself everything you’ve ever wanted. I believe in you, lady!
NEVER GIVE UP THE FIGHT. You are strong, determined and capable.
Hey girlie! Erin you rock! You’re always so full of encouragement and nice things to say
You’re right I truly haven’t given up, I think this was my “I’m feeling sorry for myself, call out for help” type post. I haven’t given up working out because I truly do love it and the feeling I get from doing it. I’m still really struggling with getting back on track with my eating but I’m getting there, just taking things one day at a time!
Don’t give up girly…that’s the easy way out…believe me I am right there with you!!! No matter how much you don’t want to exercise do it anyway…you will feel so much better after you do. There are days that I go kicking and screaming to the treadmill and i bitch and moan the entire time I am on there but once i am done i am sooo glad i did it. Now is the time to suck it up and do it not because you want to but because you need to. You need to do it for yourself…..a gift to yourself…you may hate it right this minute but push through it and get it done!!!
Sunnie in NC
Hey Sunnie! Thanks for your kind words. You’re absolutely right – NOW is the time to suck it up and do it because I NEED to!
Oh Tishia girl… I’m sorry! I know how you feel right now because I’ve been there many times in the past when I’d go on a diet. And once a week goes and then two and then a month it seems so not worth it to start all over again… but, of course, it is.
I send you my love and hugs!!!!
Nell Taliercio
@nelltaliercio
.-= casual friday every day´s last blog ..{the}story of my now =-.
Awh thank you Nell. I needed that love & hugs
You’re right – it is so worth it to start all over again!
If you are still talking about it, you haven’t really given up yet!
Keep talking about it and you WILL work your way out of this funk.
Take a look at your previous post. It was so darned motivating, you worked your ass off!
I’ve never met you in person, but I KNOW you aren’t the type to just give up.
So you don’t have the gym….there’s all sorts of home workouts and wii workouts that you can do. Until you come to terms and kick yourself back in the ass….just walk! Walk and talk about it.
We’re here for you! Hugs!
Hey Tracy! Thanks for your comment. Thankfully I still do have the gym, I really really LOVE the gym! I haven’t given up and while I’m still in a ‘funk’ when it comes to eating healthy I’m still working my butt off when it comes to exercising and working out
i seem to remember a quote that failure is not the “falling down” but the “staying down”. resolve not to stay down. start at the very next opportunity. make a healthy choice, just one. obviously your body and mind needed a rest, so take this time to think about what worked last month and what didn’t and find ways to better address the challenges. you can do it!!
I love that quote! Never heard it before but I like it. Thank you for your kind words and encouragement I really appreciate it