Talk About A Slap In The Face …

I debated about writing this post. Then I started writing it and deleted it. Then I started again. And well…here it is.

This isn’t the only blog I have. I have a business one, which I need to start blogging on that one a heck of a lot more than I do! Then I also have my main personal blog that I started in 2006!  I’ve dealt with a lot of negative/nasty comments on my personal blog. I suppose it comes with the territory. You put your life out there in web wonderland and you’re going to get those that feel the need to bash you and the things you’re sharing.

It’s really no different than those people in the offline world that feel the need to be mean. Blogging is therapeutic to me. I love doing it. But back on my personal blog I stopped sharing a whole lot of things that I used to share. After I shared about being diagnosed with bipolar and a really bad bout of depression I was going through someone approached one of my business clients and told them they didn’t think I should be working for them anymore. While that wasn’t a comment someone left on my blog, it still had to do with blogging. After that I was so hurt that someone didn’t like me being so honest (I used to get emails all the time from people telling me I was too much of an open book) that I let that dictate what I wrote about. And that’s probably why to this day I hardly blog over there anymore.

So, what does all this have to do with this post?

First, let me say that honesty is a great policy and I appreciate it when someone feels that they know me enough to be honest with me. A recent commenter wrote this (I cut some of the personal stuff out that the commenter shared not because I wanted to hide it, after all it is a comment on my blog for the world to see, but because it didn’t have anything to do with what the main gist of the comment was about – my blog):

Listen. I read your blog a lot, and am in the same situation as you are weight wise … I have a lot of guilt and strife about being fat, and so does he (her husband). I truly sympathize with you. I understand your journey as we are on somewhat of the same path.

But chic listen…stop making excuses! Stop wallowing in your addiction/failures/depressing stuff. DO SOMETHING!! I don’t know you personally, but you seem like an awesome person. Stop the madness. I know this is your blog, but I began following it/you because you inspired me. You made me want to do something about my situation. Lately, I thought about unsubscribing, as there have been post after post of excuses. I want to see you win. I want to see you succeed at this weight loss journey. I feel that when you win, I can win. Please get out of this rut!

I have so many emotions about this comment.

I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t hurt by the comment. First, you’ve never left a comment when I’m going through all the up/good times on this journey but you can criticize me when I’m going through a funk – that bothers me a lot.

The whole reason I started this blog was to share my journey of getting healthy…the good, the bad and the ugly. It just so happens that I’m in a funk and there’s a lot of ugly going on right now. I blog as I try to figure things out on this journey. I blog because if what I’m going through touches even just ONE person then it’s worth it.

My first reaction was I’m done blogging. If my posts are doing more harm than good than I’m done. Then I was like hey wait a minute this is my blog, my journey so I can share whatever I want…after all that’s the point of this blog. As I said above I blog about the good, the bad and the ugly on this journey to getting healthy and being healthy. It’s a long road I’m on (as so many of you are too) and I can’t just pretend that everything is going great when it’s not. I’ve tried putting on that happy face, pretending that I was doing great on this journey but it makes me more miserable to pretend things are great when they’re not.

So with all that being said, thank you for your honesty. I’m sorry no actually I have nothing to apologize for, if my posts aren’t what you’re looking for anymore and I’m not motivating or inspiring you anymore. This is my journey and this is where I’m at right now.

Yes, the commenter was right – I do need to stop making excuses and do something. I’m trying. Every day I pick one small thing to do and I do it – drink more water, eat a vegetable, eat a fruit, skip on 2nds, etc.

So…this is where I’m at right now. I can’t apologize for my struggles or the fact that I share them. That’s the point of blogging.


12 Responses to Talk About A Slap In The Face …

  1. Jodie says:

    Tishia – I started Bigger Than a Baby Elephant because some RL people read my other blog ‘The OVerweight life” and I felt I couldn’t comment freely. As for the negative comments from other bloggers – Well frankly, screw ’em! We are all mostly fighting a daily battle to keep ourselves healthy. Every day is not going to be great, and emotionally we all have our ups and downs. So for someone to be critical about YOUR journey is just ridiculous, IMHO. There are bloggers who I have stopped following, but it was more because they talked the talked but didn’t walk the walk. I much prefer those bloggers who are honest and admit failures as well as successes. Keep on blogging. I’m a faithful reader! I hope you keep going.
    Jodie´s last blog post ..7 Sensational Minutes!

    • admin says:

      I seem to be having a lot more downs than ups lately and it sucks! You hit the nail on the head – …those bloggers who are honest and admit failures as well as successes. When I’m reading all these blogs it’s the ones that are real about their failures too that keep me coming back! I hate knowing that other people are struggling but it’s nice knowing I’m not alone too!

  2. teresa says:

    I’m so sorry about that. Some people just need/like to tell others what to do, feel or be. It’s usually totally about themselves and not you. Try to read it that way. She’s talking to herself or she wouldn’t be so triggered by your struggle. She wants you to be HER strength. Not your job.

    I don’t read your blog as excuses. Doesn’t sound that way to me. You know I’m struggling with the same thing and I know I’m not making excuses. First of all, you (and I) are not, in any way, excusing ourselves!!! We’re trying to unravel the knots keeping us stuck.
    I believe these blogs are the way to process and explore and do it with support.
    Unsubscribe or block anyone who doesn’t support you. This is for YOU!!!
    Focus on all the love you’ve given and received.
    Since I’ve been blogging…. I’ve noticed that most of these diet blogs are about the struggle. And lots of us are stuck. Some people stop and some, like us, continue.
    And we WILL make it. We WILL be one of the percentage of blogs that’s about the weight loss of a lifetime and that part of the journey.
    I, personally, adore you. I believe in you. I’ve read you in you strength and in your struggle. I know you can and will find your way out of this rough patch.
    biggest hugs!!!! and please don’t stop writing!
    teresa´s last blog post ..“I don’t care…” “shut up- you bastard!”

    • admin says:

      Teresa – Thanks. I’m glad that not everyone sees my post as excuses. I’m not trying to be “Debbie Downer”. I’m just sharing from the heart where I’m at on this journey right now. It just so happens I’m having a lot more downs than ups lately but I can’t be sorry for that – this is MY journey and it’s what I’m going through right now. You’re always so encouraging and I love that about you 🙂

  3. You did the right thing, respond with your feelings and more on. This is your space of the “wonderful” internet and you can use it the way you like. I am glad that you decided not to give up blogging. I’m here for you, let’s do this together.

  4. Toya says:

    Okay. I think you took what I wrote the wrong way. I was not intending to “slap you in the face”, or make you feel bad about blogging. It takes a lot of courage to put your life/struggles out there for people to see. People who do that, and write about their personal stories, the ups and the downs, are strong “winners” in my book. I was trying to let you know, things could be worse. My husband and I are proof of that. We watch the Biggest Loser and Heavy and know it could be even worse for us. But we all take things one day at a time.

    As a reader, I looked to your blog and you for encouragement. I know that encouraging me is not your job. I know that I am not YOUR problem. Lately, you have been in a slump. I know everyone goes through tough times, and as I said I want you to feel/do better. I don’t feel like that would happen by continuing to wallow in your slump. I even said that I wanted to see you win and succeed in YOUR journey.

    Ultimately, THIS IS YOUR BLOG…WRITE ABOUT WHATEVER YOU WANT TO WRITE ABOUT! I wanted to let you know, as a reader, what I was seeing. I am not trying to control you. I just wanted you to know, that you encouraged me (and my family) to start our journey, and seeing you down, was disheartening.

    • admin says:

      Hi Toya. Maybe I did take what you said the wrong way. I guess I was just hurt. I felt ‘attacked’ in my own space I guess is the best way to describe it. I am in a slump right now and it sucks. I blog from the heart and obviously that comes across in all my posts. I’ve been in an emotional slump lately too so I guess that’s probably why your comment bothered me so much too – not your fault at all. I do respect that you shared honestly with me. And I have to tell you that I’ve really been thinking the last couple days about what you said and I think another reason it bothered me so much is because you hit the nail on the head when you said it was time to get up and do something about it. They say that sometimes the truth hurts and I think that hurt a little more than I was willing to admit because you were right!

      Again, thank you for feeling comfortable enough with me to share truthfully and honestly with me. That takes a lot of courage! 🙂

  5. Tracy says:

    You know….not many of us are brave enough to put it ALL out there. Bravo to you for being able to do that. This journey isn’t all roses and butterflies.

    I wouldn’t take the comments as a slap in the face. Rather turn it around and use it as a kick in the pants to move forward in helping you overcome the obstacles and excuses.

    You’ve got a great support group behind you. Let’s do THIS!

    • admin says:

      Hi Tracy! It’s certainly not all roses and butterflies! lol Lately I have been in such a slump and I miss those roses & butterflies…time to get headed back in the right direction!

      The more I thought about Toya’s comment the more I started realizing that one of the reasons I was so hurt by it was because she was so right – I do need to get up and do something and stop wallowing in this slump!!!

      Yes, let’s do this! Will you be joining in on the next Plus Size Bloggers challenge? It starts June 1st

  6. You can also put a different spin on it Tishia…she cares…she wants to see you happy…I want the same for you, and I understand that you are struggling right now, but maybe sometimes we all need a kick in the butt for that jump start, I told you before, I am here for you and I think she is too…
    Maria my waist loss journey´s last blog post ..Marias Big Adventure

    • admin says:

      Hi Maria. Yes, the more I’ve thought about it I have “seen” it in a different light. It was hurtful because sometimes the truth hurts & she hit the nail on the head when she said I needed to stop wallowing in this slump and get up and do something!