The Harder I Try …

This is me when I don't get food...especially sugar!

… the worse it is.

What does that mean?

The harder I try to be ‘good’ when it comes to food and not binge or eat bad the worse I am!

It’s only 8am and I’ve already had one binge fest today!

I went to bed last night thinking about food as usual but promising myself that today was a new day and I would stop binging, eating junk, etc.

Yeah…that promise got me far. I didn’t even make it 24 hours!

As soon as I woke up I felt agitated, anxious and was craving something sweet and that was at 6am! How can you crave something sweet that early in the morning?

I tried eating eggs…but that didn’t help.

I tried eating a piece of sausage…but that didn’t help.

I saw the containers sitting there on the counter with the chocolate chip and oatmeal raisin cookies my mom just made yesterday. I tried walking away. But I ended up ‘diving’ right in. 6 cookies only left me salivating for more sweets, more sugar, more food 🙁 But, as soon as I had the first few bites of cookies I wasn’t feeling agitated anymore. I had my “crack” so it took the edginess off…at least for a few minutes.

So here I am blogging in hopes that the cravings will go away but so far it’s not working. Maybe I should just go back to bed and go back to sleep…at least when I’m sleeping I can be good and not eat!


6 Responses to The Harder I Try …

  1. CIndy says:

    After reading this, it made me wonder a couple of things. Have you ever had your blood sugar levels checked? Craving sugar is a sign of diabetes. Also, do you stay thirsty? Those are just a fcouple signs of diabetes. However, something I have that I know a lot of women have never heard of is PCOS. Have you ever heard of PCOS? (polycystic-ovary-syndrome) This might be something off the wall, but you might want to read up on it to see if you have any of the symptoms. One large thing to do with PCOS is insulin resistance/diabetes and not being able to loose weight. I can relate to what you have said in many of your post on trying to loose weight. I wish you only the best!
    CIndy´s last blog post ..V Season Two

    • admin says:

      Cindy – I recently have not had my blood sugar levels checked. Funny you mention that because another person (on my Facebook page) mentioned the same thing to me! I’m thirsty a lot, especially in the morning. I’ve heard of PCOS before but I’ll read about it! I wish you only the best too 🙂

  2. What are some other things that you can do to “take the edge off” without turning to food?

    I think it’s important to remember that winning this battle isn’t all about just showing willpower and toughing it out (although some days that’s part of it, for sure). It’s also about finding healthy and helpful alternatives for those damaging behaviours that are almost an automatic part of your life.

    Have faith in yourself. And remember that this is a learning process. Learn from your ‘mistakes’….that’s all any of us can do. 🙂
    Momma Sunshine´s last blog post ..Seeing Things Differently

    • admin says:

      Thank you once again Momma Sunshine for your awesome wealth of information! You’re full of so much wisdom!

  3. SM says:

    I have lost 52lbs and have another 93 to go…I still binge. I hate myself when I do…but I still binge. Even when I’m saying “don’t do this.”

    …I wish I had advice to help you stop. But I can’t even get it under control myself 🙁
    SM´s last blog post ..LMs new sensory diet

    • admin says:

      Hi SM. Thank you for commenting. Congratulations on that 52lbs gone! That’s GREAT. Try not to focus on the fact that you have 93 more to go, look at it in smaller increments 🙂

      I know what you mean about the “hating” yourself when you slip up/binge…it’s so not good for us to beat ourselves up like that but we sure are good at doing it (at least I know I am). then once I do “bad” I’m like ok I blew it I might as well keep eating crap.

      Anyways … stop beating yourself up when you slip up. Brush it off, and move on! You’re doing GREAT!