Insomnia Sucks and Other Ramblings

It’s 6:15am Saturday morning. I’ve been awake since a little after 5…and that’s with having another major insomnia attack – went to bed at 11pm, didn’t fall asleep until after 3. So, yeah insomnia sucks! I should be used to it seems how I’ve suffered for several years now. But I’m not & it still sucks just as much today, several years later as it did when it first started happening.

Curves

I went with this “friend” (quotes is there for a reason…looong story). They have a 30 days free promotion going on so no money was required to start going. Within the first few days I hurt my back & had to stop going. They really need to teach people on a few of their machines to be careful how they move/use the machine because it’s easy to hurt yourself…or maybe because I have back issues already that’s why it’s so easy for me to hurt mine with the simplest movement.

So, Curves came to an abrupt halt. I guess in a way that was an okay thing because I just can’t afford their monthly fee plus having to pay their join fee. Winter is coming & I’m already stressed about my $98 a month gas bills. For a tiny 1 room apartment, I still argue with the gas company that this is “normal”…but that’s a whole other story.

Health Issues

I’m not talking physical health here. I’m talking mental. I really wish I could make people understand the significance of mental health issues like major depression (yes, there is such a thing as major depression & not just depression), bipolar disorder, anxiety disorder…the list goes on.

Some people are just so clueless & think it’s a matter of “snapping out of it” (referring to depression here). I wish it were that easy. Oh, how I wish it was that easy.

I’ve been diagnosed with a few different things over the years. This year being the worst for the depression.

And I’ve never felt more alone. My depression took on a whole new meaning over the last several months causing me to do things I’ve never done in the years past.

I won’t go into details…I will just say that please, if someone around you is suffering from depression don’t say something dumb like ‘oh just snap out of it.’ it’s not that easy! Don’t push them away either. Be there for them as much as you can…sometimes just knowing someone cares makes all the difference in the world.

I have so much to say about mental health issues and how significant/serious they can be but I won’t go into any more details about what I’m dealing with because some of its too ugly to be public.

Weird Sky Sightings

As I’ve sat in my little sun room since I woke up, I’ve been watching the weirdest thing in the sky. I knew it wasn’t a star because it was too bright and was flashing.

At first I thought it was a plane…but planes move. This thing hasn’t moved. But it gets really really bright, flashes & then goes away completely or sometimes will get really really dim & it’s hard to tell its still there. Then it comes back really bright and flashes a little.

Right now it’s just kind of there, not as bright as it was but flashing more rapidly than it was previously.

It’s weird that’s all I know. And with that I will end this post…

Me

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