Once Again I’m Right Back at Square One

Once again it’s been forever since I’ve wrote here. Once again I’m right back at square one (meaning I’ve gained ALL the lost weight plus some back – sigh, hanging my head in shame). Life has been C-R-A-Z-Y. Crazy! There has been some other crap in my life that has needed demanded my attention so this blog and my healthy lifestyle (lack thereof I should say – seems how I haven’t exactly been living one) have been pushed to the back burner.

I am finally starting to get a grip on the other crap that has needed my attention – the key being starting to, it’s still taking a lot of my time, focus and attention – and I’m really beginning to get down on myself about my weight/health. I keep beating myself up that once again (several months ago) I quit. Will I ever stop giving up? Will I ever stop quitting? Don’t I owe it to myself to take care of me, to be healthy?

Yes, I do owe it to myself to be healthy. I do owe it to myself to take care of me. I do owe it to myself to put me first. I know I have to stop giving up. I also know I have to stop beating myself up over all the times I have quit/given up. But it’s really hard not to kick myself when I keep thinking that if I had just stayed the course every one of these times (that I’ve given up/quit) I’d have been at goal weight…not right back at square one (fat, unhealthy, miserable and just plain ole ‘hating life’).

So, with that being said once again I’m back at the beginning and need all the encouragement I can get. I don’t know how I’m going to change all the things I need to change about my unhealthy lifestyle but like the other crap in my life that has been demanding my attention for several months I’m going to do like I have been with that – one day at a time, one minute at a time if need be!

So, I guess it’s really going to be all about baby steps. The first thing I need to work on is the water drinking thing. I’m so addicted to Diet Coke that there are days I go without drinking any water and only DC (like today!). I know that’s super unhealthy so that’s my first goal – to start drinking some water and cut back on the Diet coke.


6 Responses to Once Again I’m Right Back at Square One

  1. Sarah says:

    We are in the same spot! I swear when I was reading your post I felt like it should have been me writing it. Like you, I’ve gained back the weight I’ve lost, except for 10 pounds, and I hadn’t lost much to begin with.

    I used to be on a medicine that didn’t allow me to drink carbonated drinks, so soft drinks were out! But, when I stopped taking it, I went overboard on soft drinks and, like you, go some days without drinking any water at all. I have to get myself together, too, but you are absolutely not alone!

    • admin says:

      Hi Sarah. I hope you are back on track or getting back on track. I don’t like hearing about other people struggling with losing weight/healthy eating/exercise/etc. I really need to kick the soda/pop (whatever you want to call it lol) habit to the curb…for good! It’s so unhealthy!

  2. Serena says:

    I can identify, too. I have felt that way what seems like a thousand times. All I can say is, you know how they tell smokers, Don’t quit quitting? Well, we should tell ourselves, Don’t stop starting over!

    • admin says:

      I think I need to write down ‘don’t quit quitting’ and put it EVERYWHERE including in my car, in my purse, etc so I have to see it every single day! Because that’s a problem for me – I always end up quitting and think well I’ve already quit so I might as well keep heading down this path (eating crap, no exercise, etc) so then I go months and months like this and then decide I should start over. I need to learn that if I have one bad day that doesn’t mean I quit it just means I start over again as soon as that bad day/bad minute/bad hour (whatever) is over!

  3. Katie J says:

    Try to pick one thing to improve on and focus on that, like drinking water or counting your calories. When you look at the big picture it can be overwhelming to “revamp” your whole life so take smaller steps to get there. One thing is that life will happen and that you need to choose to be healthy. It is all about choices. Do you have to be perfect? No! Progress is good. Just don’t give up on yourself. YOU DESERVE TO BE HEALTHY AND HAPPY!!!

    • admin says:

      Thanks Katie for your suggestion of focusing on just one thing. Oftentimes I get so caught up in thinking I have to focus on everything all at once that I get so overwhelmed & end up doing nothing!