Self Esteem Boost

My self esteem has always been next to nothing. When you grow up hearing “you have such a pretty face, if only you would lose weight” it’s kind of hard to love yourself. I grew up believing that no one would ever love me if I wasn’t skinny. I’m 36 (almost 37…blech!) and to do this day I still have a hard time looking at myself in the mirror and loving me for me, flaws and all.

My sister in law is a photographer (an amazing one at that!) and decided that she would try something different to see what kind of response she got from women in our area. She decided to offer a mini Boudoir photography shoot. Let me stop right here and say that if you don’t know what a Boudoir photography shoot is it’s a ‘naughty’ shoot. Now let me say I was never NAKED and my pictures were not RACY at all. You are in charge of what you feel comfortable doing and I wasn’t comfortable doing a whole lot of skin!

I figured if there was one way to learn to accept me flaws and all it was to have a photo shoot done. Even my make up was completely different than anything I would ever do – it was totally out of my comfort zone. Yes even something as simple as make up can be out of your comfort zone! There was a girl there doing it and I wasn’t sure at first how I felt about what she had done but once I saw a few of the pictures I couldn’t believe it was even me. I looked amazing!

My self esteem issues weren’t instantly cured and I still have body image issues but that photo shoot made me look at myself in a whole new light! I walked out of there with my head held higher, a smile on my face and a spring in my step. I realized a couple things that day of the photo shoot and on the way home tears fell down my face…

So, what did I realize that made me cry?

  • I’m beautiful.
  • I’m big but I’m beautiful!
  • My body is unique and it’s beautiful.

Sure I’ve always known that I was big but suddenly that day I had an epiphany and realized that I am lovable and beautiful even though I am big. (I don’t even know how to put it into words to explain what I’m trying to say).

Here are a couple pictures from my session
(if you click on them, the full size image will open in a new window)

self esteem boost: boudoir photo shoot

I haven’t gotten the CD yet with all the other photos on it yet – I can’t wait to see them all!

Edited to add a couple more pics 🙂
(if you click on them, the full size image will open in a new window)

Me

9 Responses to Self Esteem Boost

  1. Serena says:

    Gorgeous! I know what you’re saying – it’s hard to love our bodies when we spend so much time hating them. I’m trying to learn to forgive my body for not being what I want it to be because it can only work with what I give it.

    You are beautiful!

  2. Maria says:

    you really are very beautiful…and one day you are going to do something nice for yourself and love you…and get healthy…fondly, Maria…

  3. Author (Tishia) says:

    Thank you ladies. I had so much fun doing this photo shoot with my sister-in-law. And of course having an epiphany about things (loving myself for me, flaws & all) was a bonus 🙂

  4. bettygreen says:

    you look beutifull and amazing love wish i hasd the money ands coureage to do this myself xxx

    • admin says:

      Hi Betty. I only had the courage because it was my sister-in-law! LOL But it was so worth doing it. It was so much fun.

  5. Shannan says:

    These are great and you are beautiful!

  6. Kim says:

    Wow! Wow! Wow! You are STUNNING! It looks like you had a great time. I hope you plan on posting the rest of the pictures when you get them.