No More Plus Size … eventually

I hate hate hate having yearly exams done. It’s not pleasant being poked and prodded the way we get poked & prodded during the exam. I have a confession – it’s been over 2 years since I had my last one done. I always use the excuse that I can’t afford to have them done because I don’t have insurance. Yeah, it’s an excuse and a crock of crap. Here in Michigan they have health departments that are very reasonably priced and if you meet certain income guidelines your exams are free. And there are even some doctor offices that work on what’s called a sliding scale fee so they base what you pay on what you make. So the point is – there’s never a reason for me to NOT have a yearly exam done.

So I went. I dealt with the poking and prodding but was a bit concerned when there was a heck of lot of poking going on with my “girls”, the “tatas”…you know boobs. I’m very well endowed (lol that’s putting it nicely) in that department so I don’t know what feels normal and what doesn’t (ok so I don’t exactly do self-breast exams regularly like I should but once in awhile I do).

She felt several lumps that were a bit ‘concerning’ so I spent a week in ‘what if’, freak out mode. Because of different things relating to my cycle and blah blah blah she wanted me to come back in for a follow-up this week to see if there was any change before sending me in for an ultrasound or mammogram.

I’m thankful to say that today things were better than they were the week before. As of right now she’s not concerned with the lumps (and in fact most of them were gone) but set up a follow-up appointment for April 18th so she can check them again. Then we’ll go from there. Let’s just say I’m breathing a huge sigh of relief…

If you haven’t had a recent exam I urge you to call and make an appointment NOW. I used to think it was better to not know if something was wrong but that’s not the case. Oftentimes the key to surviving something as serious as breast cancer (or whatever it may be) is early detection! I’m glad that I’m being monitored and followed up with on a regular basis just to make sure that nothing changes or becomes something that has to be biopsied, etc.  It’s scary to go through something like this but at the same time it just reminded me how short life really can be and to live each and every day to the fullest.

My new motto is:

Live every moment
Laugh every day
Love beyond words

All this to say: ladies, feel your tatas! Learn what’s normal. Learn what’s not!

Once again it’s been a long time since I’ve posted here. Once again life has been busy and even busier for almost a month now…because I’m dating someone It’s a bit of a challenge trying to balance working at home, hanging out with new friends (I’ve made quite a few new friends…FINALLY! It only took about 5 months of living in a new town! lol). I’m playing on a Volleyball league, and will be playing on a softball league this summer.

So back to the boyfriend….he’s freaking awesome. I love hanging out with him – he’s smart, funny, makes me laugh and he’s an awesome cook (which isn’t good on the “diet” front but I’m doing ok with maintaining my weight & not gaining so that’s a plus! lol)

So, here’s a pic of us and what a way to end a crazy year (2011) by meeting him and what an awesome way to start the New Year…with him and being super happy

Isn’t he handsome? (I think so! LOL)

How’s your new year going so far?

Wow…I can not believe the last post I made was September 29th! That’s crazy. But things have been busy…but still that’s no excuse. My Virtual Assistant business is booming, not leaving a lot of free time for blogging. I’m still settling in and adjusting to being in a new town and not having my son with me 24/7. You would think going into the fourth month of being in a new town/place that I would be all settled but I’m not. But I love it here. I love the town – even though I totally don’t fit in! (This town is full of rich people…big boats, bigger houses, nice cars, yada yada yada. But even though I don’t fit in I still love it. It’s an amazing town – the beauty is awesome. Seriously I never knew that I would be so in awe of living in a place that was surrounded by water, boats and ritzy people!)

Ok…so onto my health/weight. Uhm, it’s NOT pretty. I let myself gain quite a bit of weight once I moved in here and ‘felt sorry’ for myself that I had no friends to hang out with (truth is, even if I had made friends right off the bat I think I would have had found excuses to stay home & eat!). It got so bad that I was so swollen I could barely walk up/down my steps because it hurt…my feet were so swollen that bending them literally made me cry out in pain – that’s the worst they’ve ever been. The swelling had even moved up into my calves/legs. Again, the worst it’s ever been – it’s never been more than just my ankles/feet. So, I knew things had gotten really bad and it was time to do something. Here’s the proof of how bad I let things get (the scale was NOT my friend that’s for sure..but I needed to know what I was facing)… (more…)

It’s been almost a full month since I’ve moved (where has the time gone?) and I’ve been doing exactly what I didn’t want to do…hiding out in my apartment, not getting out and enjoying anything the community has to offer. This is a beautiful town & they do all sorts of stuff during the summer months (it’s a tourist town) – movies in the park which happens to be right on the water where it’s nothing unusual to see a 30 foot yacht parked there, musical festivals at the library, art fairs, festivals, yada yada yada. Oh and did I mention I live a couple blocks from the beach?

If hiding out wasn’t bad enough, I’ve been eating a bunch of CRAP. It’s pretty sad to think about how I’ve lived the last month actually! Let me sum it up for ya:

• Eat
• Watch TV
• Work
• Eat
• Eat
• Eat
• Order fast food (pizza)
• Rent a movie
• Buy chips & dip to go with that movie
• Buy ice cream to go with above
• Sit on my futon (by the way who ever invented these things? They are the most uncomfortable things ever) eating, crying & being jealous of all the people walking (or bike riding) by laughing having a good ole time wishing that was me out there.
• Eat

Yep, my life the past month has been boring, sad and pretty pathetic. I’m using the whole ‘I’m the new kid on the block & don’t know anyone excuse‘ to stay cooped up in here. Yep, total excuse and I know it. I’ve made the decision to do the things….err lack of things I should say…this past month.

I finally ventured out yesterday morning and visited a church. It was scary! You have no idea how many times I almost had myself talked out of doing it! And even after I was there and sitting for 10 minutes I still debated about sneaking out! Everyone was really nice and made me feel welcome but I found everything and anything (in my head of course) to think about as a reason I should leave or not go back. One of them was super silly but in my head it was a huge issue – I was the biggest person there!

So, with that being said it’s time to:

put my big girl panties on, suck it up, get out & start enjoying life again!

I don’t ever want to move again. Ever! Well ok, that’s not entirely true. Some day when I get married I want to move into a house with my husband (Of course you kind of need to be dating to even think about marriage & dating is non-existent in my life…don’t remember the last time I’ve been on a date to be honest!)

Anyways. Moving sucks. The final outcome (being in the new place) is great but the moving process itself isn’t so great! I have no idea what I was thinking when I took an upstairs apartment! Apparently I wasn’t! lol The steps to my apartment are brutal. They are super steep, at least the back entrance ones are. The front ones aren’t bad but the back ones are more private…if that makes sense.

Not only are there a gazillion steps (13 to be exact) to get to my apartment but where I was moving from (mom & step dad’s house) had a gazillion steps too (don’t remember how many there were but the house was 3 levels so that should tell you something!). So, I’ve had quite the workout the last several days. And it’s been HOT. So, it hasn’t been the most pleasant moving experience but I’m happy to say that tonight is my first night in the new pad. So, with all the up/down steps, lugging stuff, plus sweating plus not eating very much because being too busy & not thinking about it I had to of lost some weight…I know I have because some of my clothes are feeling lose on me! So, I guess I won’t complain

I couldn’t stand the purple/maroon living room so I painted (my landlady is pretty cool!). Now, I love the living room way more! Because it’s small I decided to go with a futon because that will take up less space than a regular couch (plus I needed somewhere my kiddo could sleep when he stays with me). Hopefully the futon gets here soon!

Before & After Pic of Living Room (thank the Lord for paint – amazing the difference a coat of paint can make!):

(click on image to make larger)

It’s starting to look like home Next room I’m working on – the sun-room/office. I’m going with a total cheesy/fun look for this room Can’t wait to get it done & share pics!

Funny how quickly bumps in the road can appear when you’re least expecting them. And it’s funny how just as quickly the road can go back to being ‘smooth’ (not that roads are really super smooth all the time but you get my drift!)

Things are happening so insanely fast I seriously feel like my head is spinning around and around and around. I decided to check out Craigslist again today to see if there were any new apartments listed. I was shocked to see that a new one appeared (after days of checking I was getting frustrated only seeing all the same ones that had been there for awhile – the ones that I was hitting ‘roadblocks’ with).

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It would be so nice if I could continue along a nice straight, non-bumpy road in this so called crazy life of mine. Of course, that’s not how roads (or life) are.

I recently posted about the next chapter of my life. I was excited to have the money I needed to make a huge transition in my life – a big move so I could be with my son. Suddenly, things aren’t going so smooth I’m hitting a road block every time I find an apartment/duplex/etc. Charlevoix is a really busy tourist town so I’m hoping that once summer is over there will be some more places available to rent.

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Wow. I’m sitting here feeling overwhelmed, crazy, emotional, excited, scared, in awe, can’t believe it’s happening – yeah, you name it I’m feeling it right now!

Last month I shared about my son moving in with his dad, step mom and baby brother. If you’ve followed me here or on Twitter you know I’ve been having a really hard time adjusting to this. I don’t know why I thought it would be easier to adjust. It’s not. I have to admit, the first couple weeks I was ok (kind of). It was nice having a break. And honestly the last couple summers my son has ‘lived’ with his dad so it kind of didn’t feel any different. But once I started realizing that this was different, that he wasn’t coming back home once summer was over I started getting the blues.

I started to freak out with thoughts about how I was going to see him regularly once winter hit (in Northern Michigan the winters are harsh and from where I am to where he is – the winter roads are not fun to travel…sometimes you can’t even travel because of the weather!). Or what if my car broke down?

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I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream!

Did you know that there was such a thing as National Ice Cream Day? Not only is today (always the 3rd Sunday of July) such an important day (come on you know ice cream is important! lol) but the entire month of July is dedicated to ice cream! All thanks to President Regan.

How did National Ice Cream Day Come About?

In 1984, President Ronald Reagan designated July as National Ice Cream Month. He also declared that the third Sunday in July would be National Ice Cream Day. ~Wikipedia

So, Happy National Ice Cream Day everyone!

My son’s dad dropped him off to me a little after noon yesterday…the minute he walked through the door and saw me, my heart melted. He had the biggest smile on his face and ran over to me to give me the biggest, longest bear hug ever (at 12 getting a hug from him can sometimes be like pulling teeth so I savored every minute he hugged harder & didn’t’ let go!). I don’t think I’ll ever forget that moment. It had been 3 weeks since he moved in with his dad & step mom. Not a super long time, but when you’re used to having your kiddo around 24/7, 3 weeks feels like eternity! We had an amazing day together. Vegged out for awhile watching silly shows (that normally used to bug me but suddenly they didn’t bother me…it was all about just being with my kiddo not what was on TV), hung out with family (my mom & step dad) and then went to my best friend’s parents house for a cookout and then to the local 4th of July fireworks. It was a long day but it was a lot of fun. Caleb is with me until Friday so I plan on enjoying every minute with him this week (he’s showering right now or else I would be hanging out with him and not on my computer, although I do have to finish a little bit of Virtual Assistant work over the course of the week).

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