No More Plus Size … eventually

If you read my recent post Broken Heart: Taking Time to Grieve a Break Up you know I just went through a break up.  And yes, this is another post that has nothing to do with weight loss, healthy living, etc but hey it’s my blog right so I can post about whatever So anyways I was watching the Grammy’s last night and Katy Perry performed a song I’d never heard by her before Part of Me. The chorus of the song totally hit home with me and the recent break up – here’s the chorus:

This is the part of me that you’re never gonna ever take away from me, no
This is the part of me that you’re never gonna ever take away from me, no
Throw your sticks and stones
Throw your bombs and your blows
But you’re not gonna break my soul
This is the part of me that you’re never gonna ever take away from me, no

Then of course I wanted to know the rest of the song so I had to look it up and I liked it. It just all kind of hit home with me and reminding me that no man is worth letting them break my soul/break me. So here’s the rest of the song:

Days like this I want to drive away
Pack my bags and watch your shadow fade
‘Cause you chewed me up and spit me out
Like I was poison in your mouth
You took my light, you drained me down
That was then and this is now
Now look at me

CHORUS

I just wanna throw my phone away
Find out who is really there for me
‘Cause you ripped me off, your love was cheap
Was always tearing at the seams
I fell deep and you let me down
But that was then and this is now
Now look at me

CHORUS

Now look at me, I’m sparkling
A firework, a dancing flame
You won’t ever put me out again
I’m glowing, oh woah oh
You can keep the dog from me
I never liked him anyway
In fact you can keep everything
Yeah, yeah
Except for me

CHROUS

Ok, so yes I’m a dork and sometimes songs ‘speak’ to me. I’m sure you probably know what I’m saying…so what is a song that recently ‘spoke’ to you?

I haven’t done Zuma as much as I wanted. But I’ve done it enough to know that I really enjoy it and would love to have a workout DVD I could do at home. Angie over at Losing It And Loving It has a Zumba Workout DVD contest giveaway going on right now and I’m writing this post as part of the entry process.

So, here’s to hoping I win

They always say you don’t realize how much you take something for granted until it’s gone…in this instance it’s not something I ‘lost’ (well technically I guess you could say I did lose something – my mobility) but something that put me out of commission for almost a full month…my back.

When you have back problems you know how awful and inconvenient it is.  You never know when you’re going to have a flare up. I was shocked that my back went out on Labor Day when I was bent over reaching for the dust pan and I twisted just the littlest to the right. I’ll never forget that moment and the pop noise I heard, horrendous pain sending me instantly to my knees where I proceeded to crawl to the bedroom. EEEK! It makes me cringe just typing and thinking about it.

Over the last several weeks I’ve been thinking about how much I take for granted. Like my back. I hadn’t had a flare up in quite awhile so it really threw me for a loop when it happened. ThankfullyI work from home so I didn’t have to call in and miss work but it wasn’t easy trying to work from my laptop in bed either like I tried that first full week.

Thankfully I am not almost 100% pain-free (praise God!). I can stand up straight again and walk normal again

Anyways…this just reminded me that life is too short to be taking things for granted including my health, family time, time with my friends, etc.

What have you been taking for granted?

I had a great weekend with the kiddo! This is the first time he’s spend the weekend since the move last month. I was a bit bummed that my back was still bugging me because it prevented us from doing a whole lot. I was so impressed with how helpful my kiddo was! He vacuumed, swept, changed kitty liter – all without me asking him to, well I did have to ask him to do kitty litter.

Friday night it was really sweet – he cooked us steaks and made us sit down at the kitchen table to enjoy dinner together. Seriously, it made me want to cry he was so sweet about it. ‘Dinner’ wasn’t served until a little after 10pm but hey that’s ok, I wasn’t going to say anything considering he was so proud of making dinner for mom and us sitting down together to eat it

Things are going great for him – he absolutely loves being at his dads with his step mom and brother. He really likes school, has quite a few friends and football started recently too. It sounds like he’s busy busy busy with school, homework and football practice! He’s so happy…I’m trying to not let stupid thoughts enter my head about how I must be a really bad mom because he was never this happy when living with me, etc. We had a lot of issues when he lived with me – constantly fighting, etc. So, I’m trying to not beat myself up over anything but to see him this happy and to see him thriving like he is, it’s kind of hard to not get down on myself about things. But I suppose the past is the past and all I can do now is to make sure that our relationship turns into a better one than when he lived with me.

A quick update on my back – today is exactly one week since I hurt it and while it’s doing 100% better than it was last week, I’m still in quite a bit of pain. Still moving pretty slow and have to be careful doing the littlest things like getting up out of bed, a chair, etc. I’m so over this and just ready for it to be back to normal!

I hope you had a fantastic weekend

Until next time…

Ouch!

That pretty much sums of what I’m feeling right now. I’ve had back issues for several years now. In the past the flare ups I’ve had haven’t lasted long or ‘stopped me in my tracks’. That’s why this one seems so weird to me. It happened this past weekend. I worked on a huge project and was at desk for an insane amount of time over the course 3 days. I felt it getting tight but it wasn’t hurting.

Then I went to a friend’s wedding reception Saturday night and danced. Oh my gosh did I dance! The group of friends I was with were dancing machines & I wasn’t going to be outdone One time we danced an hour straight without sitting down. I’m guess over the course of the night I got in about 2.5-3 hours of dancing! I was literally dripping with sweat (to my credit it was uber humid & everyone was just as sweaty! lol) and probably could have wrung my hair out it was so sweaty. Yea, pretty gross! Good thing I was there to just have fun and not worry about what others thought. Of course by that late in the evening there were tons of drunks around so they probably didn’t even notice how sweaty I was!

Anyways I noticed Sunday morning my back was feeling kind of tight again and had a little pain in it. But nothing a couple Tylenol didn’t help. Then Monday night (last night) I was sweeping my kitchen floor and I twisted just the littlest bit to the right to pick up the dust pain and I was brought crashing to my knees with horrible pain shooting through my back and down into my right buttock. I crawled my way to the bedroom, got in bed & pretty much haven’t moved since then (10:30pm).  It hurts to sit, stand, lay, walk – you name it, it hurts to do. I sneezed and thought I would pass out the pain was so bad. A couple times it’s even hurt to simply take a breath.

I’m trying to suck it up and not go see a doctor. After just moving last month my cash flow is very limited right now and the last thing I can ‘splurge’ (yea that’s sarcasm there!) for is a doctor visit (or trip to the chiropractor). So, I’m praying for God’s healing (and quickly!) because this pain is awful